You Say It's Your Birthday

Remember when you were a kid and on your birthday you actually felt special and different? The day was yours, it was a privilege, and you felt anything but ordinary because it was YOUR birthday. I remember those days. And I can't remember when I stopped experiencing that special feeling on my birthday. Eventually, my birthday arrived and the day didn't feel different. It just felt like any other day. Typical things I did yesterday still have to get done today.

So today it's my birthday. I'm 38 years old. I remember when my mother turned 38 years old. I remember when I thought 30 was old. Now I know 38 isn't old, although my reflection says otherwise. Crows feet, sprouting gray hairs, aches and pains. They are all whispering their existence on this body of mine.

I don't feel older, but I've put another year behind me. And there will be no balloons or wrapped gifts to open. Just a small ice cream cake that has been stored in the freezer since mid-December, a cake meant for G, who doesn't care to celebrate his day, so now will have my name on it, theoretically.

We will light some candles and the boys will sing to me and we will have cake, all after we have exhausted the day together. It is the last day of school vacation and G took the day off, so what better way to spend a birthday than with the ones you love the most?

So what if I don't feel special. I know that what I have is special, and that is the best gift of all.

To my twin sister Karen, may you have as great a birthday as I will have. Although we can't share the cake, we will always share the memories.