This might very well be the end.
She coughs and wheezes whenever we go out, and that's not good for her at all. So I am purposely only taking her out locally if I have to, but even that can become taxing on the poor girl.
She has an appointment next Wednesday, but the procedure needed to make her better may prove to be very costly. At what point do you stop all treatments and accept that doing nothing more may be the best answer?
I had hoped she would make it through the winter, fully expecting it would be her last, but now I'm not so sure she will even get that far.
Her prognosis is just not good.
But I'm not ready to let her go. Nine years is not long enough. Sure, she has seen many great places in her lifetime and despite her occasional relapses, has always chugged on, no questions asked. Her temperature fluctuates drastically now, and I'm afraid the imminent colder weather will cause her to break down completely, possibly even paralyzing her. Then what do I do?
I've tried to be extra gentle with her, even giving her little pep talks when I thought she needed it. I'm not sure she can even hear me anymore. It is so hard to watch her slowly slip away, but that is what she has been doing, and I feel so helpless. Worse, I feel guilty when I have to force her to go out and go long distances, even though I try to keep those distances to a minimum.
So, please. Pray for my Sienna. She doesn't have much time left.
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