Avoiding dead end roads

Excuses. Sure, I have me some. My duties as mom and soccer coordinator and soccer coach and VP of the PTA and religious education teacher and home administrator and all those in between that I do to run our daily lives temporarily had their wires cross and I was busy putting out small fires, some of which are still smoldering. While I certainly can multi-task, the demands exceeded my abilities and required me to temporarily put the unimportant happy places I frequent aside while I got my ducks all lined up in a row again. They're not straight, but at least they're back in a line for now.

I don't make it a habit to run away from sunshine and pretty flowers and things that make you feel good. And I appreciate it that you missed me, really. But I'm back, at least for the moment. Aren't you glad you checked to see if I updated my blog?

Anyway, while I have been busy mediating and crossing off days in my life, I have also been thinking. I have been thinking about how every time I look in the mirror, I like less and less the person staring back at me. Do you ever regret following the road in your life and not taking that turn at the bend way back when you considered it, but opted not to for fear of going off track and getting farther away from wherever it was you were heading?

So today, here and now, I have my little things that consume my life. They have names and different ages and different personalities and I am thankful every day that they represent who I am today. But there is a part of me that wonders how they would impact my life, if at all, had I taken a chance, stepped outside my circle of comfort, and took the unknown road instead of the paved one ahead of me. And then I wonder since I am taking this path and they are taking it with me, if I am doing a good enough job of sheltering them from the rainstorms in which I too often find myself passing through. I think it should be better than this. They should have it better than this. They are experiencing too many harsh storms, no matter how short lived they are. But I don't know how to make it right. I don't know how to avoid them without going back on the road I have traveled and taking the beaten path I wanted to take so long ago, and don't even know if I can do so in a group rather than as an individual.

And how do I know I won't wind up on a dead end road? What if I do? I would have no other choice but to admit my mistake, turn us around, and go back to where we know there is frequent storms, even if we intend to pass through to the other side, to the turn farther down the road.

So there you have it. And if you are trying to read between the lines, you are wasting your time, for there is no hidden message. I'm just suggesting you look both ways at the busy intersections and consider that maybe the grass really is greener on the other side. Or not.